Arts Entertainments

New golf book scores an ace

I don’t play golf. But that didn’t stop me from laughing out loud at story after story in Don Boehm’s new collection of 100 true stories about golf and its players. To collect all the stories in Right Distance, Wrong Direction, Don has traveled across the country from city to city playing golf. In each city, he has also worked with charities that have mobile mammography vans that travel to urban and rural locations to provide this service. She has collected these stories for entertainment, but part of the proceeds from the book sales will also be donated to help uninsured women receive an early diagnosis and ultimately eradicate cancer.

While cancer is no laughing matter, laughter is the best medicine, and the title of Right Distance, Wrong Direction lets you know right away that this book is going to be fun. When asked, Boehm’s fellow golfers didn’t hold back from generously telling stories about their and their friends’ funniest golf antics. Of course, there were times when golfers told Don they couldn’t think of a funny story, but then as he played with them, you guessed it: the unexpected happened and a funny story came up. I wish there were videos for all the stories; They would put America’s funniest home videos to shame. Or maybe they could be the inspiration for Caddyshack III.

While I did not understand all the terms of golf, I never felt lost by following these stories. Sure, you expected to read about some bad golf swings and golf balls landing in strange places, but you didn’t expect golf clubs to fly into the Pacific, birds stealing golfers’ watches, angry bull moose attacking the golf carts or alligators eating golf balls. I can’t say much more without revealing all these juicy and entertaining stories, and don’t forget, they all really happened! But I will quote a story that, when I imagined it, almost made me cry.

Maggie said, “Okay,” as she got up to take her shot. When she hit the ball, one of the men started yelling, “Roll, bitch, roll.” Then Maggie said, “I don’t know why, but for some reason, I dropped to the ground and started rolling!”

Maggie, her husband, and I were coming out of it by telling this story. Her husband said he was wearing a white sweater and pants and was rolling in the freshly cut grass and staining himself green. As we laughed, Maggie ended by saying, “And that’s my story!”

When you’re done rolling on the floor with Maggie, go out and get a copy of this book. It will be a perfect read on the golf course between holes or anytime you need a great laugh. And don’t forget that selling books helps fight breast cancer.

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