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Scabies Humor

I know I know! The previous two words are what you call an oxymoron, if there ever was one! (For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s two words together that have opposite meaning, like “he’s a big guy.”)

If you have scabies and are reading this, I applaud you for your desire to find humor in everything. As a person who has struggled with scabies for almost a year, I’ve had a lot of time to ponder that humor, and I admit it, it seems like jokes about scabies are few and far between. In fact, it almost seems sacrilege to broach the subject. An internet search for scabies jokes only reveals the grim demeanor of many scabies sufferers. But the saying is true: a happy heart does good, like medicine. So read on, and if you have scabies, follow the link at the end to find the cure for scabies.

What is scabies called at Christmas?

  • TO lousy way to spend Christmas!

What not to say to a person who has scabies:

It is best not to say a few things to someone you know who has scabies, here is a list:

  • “How are you?” “Are you OK”
  • “This is crazy!” (Even if you are talking about something else)
  • “Little bastards”
  • “Good night”
  • “Good morning”
  • “We are going to eat something”
  • “hell” “purgatory” “torture” “punishment” “death” “fire and brimstone” “diabolical” “infernal”
  • “nightmare”
  • “Little imp”
  • “Creepy” or “Creepy”
  • “Bloodsucker”
  • “happy”
  • “Do not bother me!” or “That always bothers me”
  • “Marked for life”
  • Temperamental words like “bitch” (it rhymes too much with itching, and unfortunately is what many who have scabies feel, with or without the b in front).
  • Good night, sleep well, don’t let the bed bugs bite
  • “That really got under your skin, didn’t it?”
  • “Skin” or “skin care”
  • “contagious” even “his laugh was contagious”
  • Anything that starts with “sc” especially “rips“, but includes, scar, scared, frightened or terrifying, scorpion, scandalous, to scrape, scoop, score, scone, scope, Scott, ‘scape (or escape), school, scale, scrunch, screen, scoff, He shouted (includes ice cream, sounds too ‘screaming’), frown, despise, scan, Scooby, scour, scout, scram, scraping, scarf, scat, doodle, scrubwear spankscreech, scoot, scorch, schedule, sciatic, scandinavia, scalp, scald………. or whatever other word you can think of that starts with ‘sc’ (check the dictionary).

What does one person who has scabies say to another?

  • Life is an itch, isn’t it?

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