Do you constantly feel stifled, restricted, or suffocated by your clingy girlfriend’s excessive neediness, jealousy, or controlling behavior? Being in a relationship should lead to one’s growth, with both partners making compromises and helping each other broaden their horizons. If you feel more like a hostage than a loved one, you may be in a codependent relationship.

A codependent relationship, which is often unhealthy, is characterized by having a partner who:

1) Demand to be by your side more often than necessary
2) Expect a call from you several times a day
3) It needs to know where you are at all times
4) You feel jealous when you are with other women.
5) It discourages you from having friends
6) Frown when spending time with male friends
7) Stay alert for fear of slipping
8) He constantly analyzes everything about his relationship
9) Pressures you to commit to things you’re not ready for, like marriage.
10) Act overly protective or inappropriately clingy in public

It takes two to be in a codependent relationship, therefore you also play a role in this unhealthy setup. It is important for you to recognize that a relationship in which one is unstable or controlling often results in physical and mental stress for the other, and tolerating such a relationship will eventually lead to a miserable existence for both of you.

Women who are clingy, needy, or overly jealous tend to have major issues with self-esteem. And you may have those problems too, since people with similar levels of self-esteem tend to be attracted to each other. Try to address these issues with your partner if possible so you can both work towards a healthy relationship. Let him know how his controlling and demanding ways make you feel repressed and suffocated. Let him know how important a sense of freedom and independence is to you.

However, many men find it difficult to discuss these issues with their dominant partners. They are afraid that talking about these topics will make her overreact or cause more conflict. He may need a third party to help him address these issues, where he can speak freely without fear of consequences.

On the other hand, you may feel the need to end the relationship, but you can’t for many reasons and because it’s not the right time. This usually puts men in a dilemma, as they want to end the relationship for their own good, but can’t find the will or strength to leave. Since he is codependent himself, several reasons prevent him from taking that step:

• He doesn’t have the heart to hurt her and see her cry
• He fears that she won’t be able to handle the breakup, lose control and do something drastic that could ruin their lives.
• She depends on him for what he can provide (house, ride, etc.), and they have shared property or assets
• They are engaged and everyone is expecting a wedding

No matter what the reason, the bottom line is that you feel responsible for her and believe that she couldn’t live without you. The truth is, there is no better time to leave than now, and no one else can but you. Nothing is impossible when you put your heart and mind into it.