Have you been frozen by the fear of the unknown that makes you hesitate to make the decisions you so desperately need? Or, has thinking about the future and how you are going to manage without your loved one brought you great anxiety? Fear of the unknown is one of the most common and most difficult to treat complaint-related problems.

Why is this so? Simply because uncertainty is such an integral part of life that most ignore it until it forces us to face it. So we have to take a stand when we are in an anxious state of mind. The choice becomes: learn to live one day at a time (perhaps one minute at a time) or allow the unknown to fill us with paralyzing fear and freeze us. So what can we do to deal with the fear of the future, the unknown?

1. Realize that taking risks is still a productive method of dealing with the unknown. Risk taking is at the very core of growth and advancement. It implies new learning, sacrifices and being open to the belief that failure is part of the learning curve; gives us new information to continue. Be willing to come out of your shell and start over and over again, even when you’re hurting.

2. Recognize that millions before you, myself included, have learned to live with uncertainty. Psychotherapist Pauline Boss in Ambiguous Loss says, “While our longing for certainty is normal, it’s also natural to never find it.” The key word is natural and that you can live with uncertainty, unpleasant as it may be.

Living with that means we need to keep experimenting to find ways to recognize that it’s okay to have uncertainty. At the same time, we make and execute plans to manage it (as mentioned above, new learning is the key). Then when one approach doesn’t work, try another.

3. Focus your attention more on the present and less on the future. This requires a concerted effort to be sure. But it can be done, and it is a crucial strategy. Focus and attend to immediate needs. And, when you feel the downward spiral of thinking the worst about what lies ahead, refocus your attention on something healthy in the present.

Become an expert at refocusing and embrace it as a lifelong skill. Trust those you are close to. It’s okay to lean on them and share your fear and ask for advice. Take it, if it suits you. Let it go for later consideration, if not.

The key understanding is to take action after assessing the dynamics of the situation and consulting with those who have input that might be helpful to your plan. The latter can help immensely in allaying fears, so seek out the wise and experienced, even if you have to pay an expert for advice.

The most consistent suggestion coming from counselors of all kinds is: face your fears based on uncertainty. Don’t let them immobilize you. Remember, there will always be moments of not knowing, it is inescapable. However, the good thing is that the story of facing the unknown tells us that you will prevail.