Have you ever found yourself struggling with feelings of possessiveness and jealousy? These are the two main factors that can ruin a love relationship. However, being aware of your behaviors and having the determination to change is half the battle won. After that, putting the strategies listed below into practice can free you from these harmful feelings so you can enjoy healthy relationships.

The signs of jealousy

The main traits of a jealous person are a huge inferiority complex and selfishness. While we may be aware that a jealous person is selfish, we may not be aware that they have an inferiority complex. This is because he hides it with a show of self-confidence.

Selfishness rears its nasty head when your partner shows even a small amount of attention to someone or something else instead of you. You feel bitter for not being the focus of interest and jealousy overcomes you. At such times, you will not think about anyone’s well-being but your own.

Do you have feelings like these? If so, then it is vital that you realize that they are pointing to jealousy.

Test yourself for selfishness

Answer these questions:

Am I prepared to return the favor?

Am I prepared to allow a similar privilege?

If both answers are negative, you are most likely being selfish.

What you must do, if you are jealous, is to conquer your feelings of inferiority and dire need for approval.

Jealousy vs Envy

Although most people are inclined to interchange these words, envy and jealousy are two separate emotions. Envy is when you want to do the same as the other person. Jealousy is when you want to be the only person doing well. The jealous person always wants to take away the other person’s achievement.

The thing is, envy can be a useful emotion when you use it correctly. It can encourage you to improve yourself and your status.

possessiveness

In the case of possessiveness, there is no other person involved. You feel worthless unless someone adores you and shows it by suffocating you with their undivided attention.

Both possessiveness and jealousy come from the same source: an overwhelming need for love and appreciation.

the way to change

If you have these unpleasant traits, there are techniques you can use to lessen or eliminate these negative feelings. With a little effort, you can be well on your way to pleasurable relationships free from jealousy and possessiveness.

Here are five great tips that can help you conquer these feelings:

1. Remember that no one is perfect! Everyone has some flaws. You don’t have to be flawless to be useful. Why should you allow others to judge your worth? Do they have a PhD in the field?

2. Be careful with yourself. When you encounter challenges or a breakdown in your relationship, remember that self-blame leads to feelings of guilt and weakness. If possible, blame your behavior, but not yourself. Avoid falling into self-pity.

3. Believe that you can change. You might think that jealousy and possessiveness are an inherent part of your character that you can’t change. However, you can change! You only have to consider people who have stopped smoking or drinking alcohol to appreciate that change is possible. If they can change for the better, so can you!

4. Everyone is their own person. Many people in romantic relationships think that they “belong” to each other. This is one of the most dangerous beliefs of the jealous and possessive person. No matter how much you’ve given to your lover, you just can’t think of them like you would your house or your car. If they have decided to leave you, let them go. There is absolutely no purpose in caging someone who no longer cares about you. Such a relationship would not have harmony.

5. Take up a hobby. Someone who makes another person the center of his life is a naturally jealous and possessive person. A good way to put an end to focusing your life on his lover is to take an interest in yourself. Improve your skills in your hobby and you will find that you are no longer worried about your relationship. That is because you will be passionate about something more than your lover.

So if you are jealous and possessive, put these tips into practice; and develop your sense of self-esteem and learn to see things as they really are. As a consequence, you will see your relationships blossom into beauty and happiness.