Fine lines like spider webs are the only things that

I keep the thin membrane that separates my logic

mind of madness breaking in and letting the ocean

envelops my whole being.

More than forty years have passed since

first moment of madness entered my world

when I was too young to know how

Close the door. Now the room is too crowded

and the door is broken.

The stiffness has locked up my heart and

the lingering blows of a welcome friend

Long muffled, falls

on deaf ears.

Oh loneliness is a welcome stranger, I cry

but the bricks of my prison walls are

sleeping and my words can’t escape.

But wait I see the key and it’s calling

to me like the dancing finger of a skeleton.

The words in this poem came at a difficult time in my life when I had to pretend to be happy on the outside while my stomach did cartwheels. The months of wedding prep, dress fitting, invitations, interviews with caterers and DJ’s pushed me further than I have ever been before. Writing this poem provided immense relief from the cloud of despair that permeated my heart. My girl was leaving me.

This grieving process, so to speak, made me aware of the fact that our thoughts are completely linked to emotions and due to the physical reaction created in our body such as increased heart rate, indigestion and perspiration; Emotions play an important role in keeping us well or creating disorder. I became physically ill and was confined to bed after the wedding for three days. Every emotion is made up of a mental state and a nervous reaction, which in turn produces a more complex state of mind than the first.

The recommended cure for this disease is intellectual and spiritual cultivation, a simpler life, and thought that is both deeper and higher. Hold on to love and let go of fear.