If you haven’t already succumbed to the “packrat-Itus” virus, you’ve definitely been in the home of someone who is showing signs of this horrible disease. There are so many different strains of Packrat-Itus that it sometimes goes undiagnosed for years. Perhaps your affliction is not too serious yet. If so, treatment is available and you probably won’t die from the disease.

Diagnosing Pacrat-Itus involves a careful and deliberate evaluation of your living area, taking great care to check nooks, garage, under stairs, attics, and foundations for visible signs of the bacteria known as ” clutter” or “garbage”. Once it is determined that you have been affected, immediate steps should be taken to rid your home of this bacteria, using copious doses of “cleanacilan”, “orginization-aspirin”. Most remedies and cures can be found, so don’t worry, it’s not terminal.

Seriously, I call excessive household clutter “PackratItus” because accumulating junk over the years is something that happens right under your nose, and it gets worse and worse when you’re not paying attention. It breeds in your home just like an infection worsens in your body, without careful and deliberate treatment.

There are ways to coordinate, organize, and banish clutter, leaving you with enough room to walk to the kitchen (without tripping over that ’70s bean bag chair). Here are 3 steps to take that can relieve Packrat-Itus and give your home a breath of fresh air and leave you with peace of mind.

1. Do you have a shed? Maybe it’s in a condo…if so, does your condo have a storage area?

* If you have items lying around your house that mean something to you, things that have sentimental value but aren’t of immediate use, then for God’s sake pick them up and take them to your storage area. (It’s always a good idea to organize these items too, so they’re easy to find—see step 2.) If you don’t have a storage area, look for self-storage facilities that may be close by. These places are almost always within a 10 minute drive from your home, and you can usually get one for as little as 30.00 per month.

2. The Google of the world of interior design is Ikea. Ikea is your friend. At Ikea there are many shelves and storage bins that will help you organize your clutter into much smaller places. I once turned a clutter-filled garage into a closet-sized masterpiece of organizational brilliance using cheap and useful shelving + storage boxes I found at Ikea.

3. Yard sales aren’t just for families wearing matching tracksuits! I know I know That guitar you got for Christmas on your 14th birthday is waiting for you to master it. However, you are now 40 years old, so, to be frank, give up the dream already! Let a neighborhood kid try his hand at being the next Segovia, because that guitar is making your living room look like a pawn shop! (and you know it) It’s also worth noting that a garage sale can give you extra money to redecorate, it can be socially relevant (if you’re trying to meet the neighbors), and if you’re lucky, someone will buy that giant fish tank you got. your aunt in 1965 (the one who gives children nightmares).

Wait for future articles on this topic for sure. I get a lot of emails asking for advice, but for now there are bigger fish to fry, like WrongPaintColororrhea and Non Specific Decoraphobia.

So if your case of packrat-Itus is not terminal, there is hope, as you can see from above. Just pick a day, take your time and treat the problem with the medications prescribed here. Oh, and he drinks a lot of orange juice. That seems to help everything. 🙂