Marriage is not for the meek of heart. I looked up the definition of marriage on Wikipedia, and this is what it says: Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are recognized in various ways, depending on the culture or subculture in which it is found.”
For me it is a commitment to a person, a binding contract, an agreement between two people. A marriage is a bond, a connection. I think today’s society takes it too lightly. You date for a year or two, and then the pressures of society affect us. All of our friends are getting married, and the self-induced pressure of holy matrimony sees us as victims. I often notice that a couple does really well when they’re dating, and once they’re married, things start to change.
We have expectations of how it should be. Notice the word EXPECTATIONS! When we place expectations on a person, we must also be prepared for disappointment. I feel that the best way to live is without expectations. Just like giving, when you give, give without expectation. You give freely! That’s what a great marriage is all about: giving freely of ourselves, without any expectations or wanting anything in return. We expect our partner to act a certain way, behave a certain way, give you flowers and a gift that you have chosen in your mind, and when he doesn’t, we blame him and argue about what he couldn’t do for you.
I remember reading the book Mastery of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz. When we fall in love with a dog and take it home, and then once at home, we want the dog to behave like a cat. This is exactly what we do with our relationships. We fall in love with this person and the infatuation stage is magical. When that state ends, we expect the person to like what we like and behave in a certain way. We buy a dog, we expect a dog; It’s as simple as that.
In this book, Mastery of Love, he states: “Relationship is an art. The dream that two create is more difficult to master than one alone. To keep both of you happy, you must maintain your perfect half. You are responsible for your half , and your half has a certain amount of junk.”
True love is selfless; once we decide to be a couple, you are there to serve the person you love without expecting anything in return. It is about mutual service; you can do this when the love you have for yourself is very strong. We must first love ourselves before we begin to love another. Before you take the big step toward holy matrimony, make sure you understand that marriage is a commitment not to be taken lightly. Live and be true to yourself first and you must love yourself first. Honor one another, and may you live in eternal bliss!
Remember, may today’s possibilities excite us all!
