Many of you may look at my title and wonder if I have ‘lost my marbles’. Let me explain. Let me first quote from a wonderful article that Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., posted on the web titled: Curing the Disease of Terrorism. She states: “The primary goal of terrorism is ‘intentional trauma’ to the living. The concept of causing ongoing psychic damage to thousands and millions ‘all at once’ is a major tactic of terrorists…innocent people who have fear of life… (this) wounds the spirit and the human heart”.
Clarissa then shares many ways to fight this madness, including refusing to dwell on what physically takes away our hope; abide in what strengthens us; remaining; refusing to think that one is less capable than before the assault, and not stop enjoying the pleasures that do you good.
I don’t know if Clarissa realized that her suggestions fit neatly into the Seven Portals to the Enchantment of THE ENCHANTED ME, but they fit! Let’s go through these portals and see how they preserve us from disenchantment and, what is worse, from terror.
The first portal is the Portal of Self-Esteem. When terror strikes, it’s all too common to feel vulnerable, unimportant, and perhaps even worthless. This is the exact opposite of how we should feel in order to have good mental health. To function at my best, I need to know on a daily basis that I am ‘special’. I have traits, strengths, and abilities that come together not only to help me lead a meaningful life, but also to help me feel proud and confident. You do too! What are some of your strengths and/or coping skills? Work with me as you read this and make a list of a few. It will be beneficial as we get out of this terror! Perhaps you have resilience, compassion, and the ability to reinvent yourself. Maybe you are good at cheering others up or you are good at making candy!
All of these and thousands more qualify as perks in life!
The second gateway is to Meet Our Needs. Again, when terror or severe stress hits, we often stop doing what’s good for us. We feel weak and may let go of a growth experience or learn a new skill that is good for us. Even after the acute weakness passes, we may feel insecure or no longer committed to our own growth and development goals. Once again, this is the exact opposite of what is needed for good mental health. Did you let anything go as a result of 9/11? could you
I want to make a note about it and also a new start date.
I did. I didn’t do my TV show in New York that month as we were asked not to come to the city and that was a huge loss for me. I really enjoy teaching the public about positive thinking through television. My program, Recipes for Enchanting, not only meets many of my needs, but it expands and grows me more. Yes, I hope to do the show this month on the 17th.
The third portal to Enchantment is Acknowledging Pleasure and Joy. It is very normal after a scare, in this case terrorism, to feel not only emotionally crushed, but unable to experience joy. In fact, many times the person does not feel entitled to laugh, to have a good time, etc. For some it is guilt, for others sorrow. Again, this is the exact opposite of what we need for good mental health.
Not only do we have the right to live lives of joy and happiness, we also need it! Does this mean that everything is fine? Absolutely not. What it does mean is that we allow ourselves to maintain an attitude that fosters the ability to experience happiness and joy as often as possible. No one has the right to take that away from us! Now is the time to fight back! What is fun for you? What do you like? What gives you pleasure? Write down some of these things and plan to do at least three of them in a couple of weeks. For example, I love shopping and last week I really enjoyed shopping for a black skirt for fall. It was a small pleasure, but it was getting back to normal and I felt great.
Let’s enter the fourth portal: Become Heroes or Heroines of Our Own Lives. Ah, this is such an essential step. And yet, what do stress and terror do? They can make us feel meaningless, purposeless, again emotionally crushed. What is good mental health? It certainly encompasses the feeling that my life is not only meaningful but also worthwhile. Not only did I overcome the difficulties, but the adventure was worth it! I took the rollercoaster ride of my life and came out the winner.
Many times, after a shocking event, we don’t know what role to play or feel oblivious to what is happening at ‘ground zero’. These are normal feelings and we need to realize that each of us has a unique role and purpose in life that no one else can fulfill.
Think about the story of your life. How did you get this far? How did your experience end up working for you? What have been some of the highlights of your life? Look for the heroic even on a very small scale. I can guarantee you that you will have many opportunities to continue to use your unique strengths and talents.
I was the girl who kept a secret Girl Scout journal with tons of misspelled words! I wrote every night without knowing exactly why and here I am now with the opportunity to write to you through the Internet. All that practice was part of my history. You have yours and never forget it!
Could you guess that the fifth portal is Belonging to Tribes, or communities? Often after a terrorist attack, people are afraid to go out, join others, go about their business. This is exactly what the terrorists want and it completely interferes with our human needs to belong, share and be a part of something. What are some of your special tribes for you? I hope you do your best to get out there and stay connected with them. For me, one of my first steps was to go to a local rally and cry, sing, hold hands with strangers, and donate goods with many others.
The sixth portal is Find Mentors. When we are attacked, it is our hope and optimism that is often attacked the most and, in essence, our future. What we need most is to get that back. This is where mentors help a lot. We need to find positive mentors everywhere: TV heroes, friends and positive e-mails on the web, loved ones, good books, good music, and even animals that teach us so much about love and connection. . Don’t laugh, but laughter is spell mentor. Laughing brings us back to our positive center by teaching us how good it feels to feel good! Who are some of your mentors?
The last portal is the Positive Action Portal. Often when terror strikes, we feel helpless and paralyzed. Good mental health requires that we go beyond these feelings. Inactivity is not good for us. Positive action is the best antidote to mental ‘poison’.
Why? Because we not only help ourselves but others in the process. We start the chain reaction that finally sends a message that we will not be inundated by darkness. Do you remember how much darkness a small candle can remove? Each of us is potentially thousands of candles. What are some positive actions you can take over the next few weeks? Write them down. These actions can feel good and also be good for you and others. For me, one of my positive actions is that I write to them and hope that it fits the definition above. I enjoy writing to you! I look forward to your responses and most importantly, I hope my message was good for you!
