No matter how hard you try to justify jealousy (even in cases where you are cheated on), it is ALWAYS the lowest feeling one can experience. And if you feel jealous (no matter what the reason), you ALWAYS lose self-respect.
When you’re feeling jealous, you’re usually operating on the mistaken assumption (somewhat of an “illusion”) that someone belongs to you, and therefore you want to control what they think, what they want, and where they want to be. Now try this: Imagine that someone wants to control what you think, what you want, and where you want to be. They can try all they want, but they will never be able to control their thoughts and desires. Similarly, you cannot control another person’s thoughts and desires either. And you can never be sure what they are. So instead of trying to achieve the impossible, leave it alone. It is a waste of time and energy.
Instead, focus on your own feelings and try to control them. If you’re feeling jealous, it’s usually because you’re not sure of yourself. In those moments, remember your own worth. Affirm your own qualities and practice self-love. Work on building your confidence and self esteem. This is both empowering and self-respecting.
At this point, you’re probably wondering “But what if I’m being cheated on?” Well, that’s no excuse to be jealous. Being on the receiving end of the cheating usually brings up your self-esteem issues. That is why you need to work on your confidence. Because if you don’t, you’ll likely end up not only feeling jealous, but also tolerating infidelity (for fear of being dumped), further disrespecting yourself. Instead, you should simply get out of the relationship (assuming cheating is not in line with your personal values). That’s what any self-respecting self-assured person would do.
See, when there’s cheating, most people show disrespect for themselves both ways: they get super jealous AND stay in the relationship. But that is not productive and does not help you achieve anything. When someone is cheating on you, don’t take it personally. Empower yourself by asserting your own worth, refuse to be jealous, and simply get out of the relationship. Taking personal responsibility for your feelings and actions demonstrates a high level of self-respect and is the only behavior that can help you achieve a positive outcome.
Remember: if you want a good relationship, work on the relationship. If you want a great relationship, you work on yourself!
