Your boyfriend is moving. You really can’t believe it. For you, the relationship certainly had its share of challenges, but you loved him and you believed he loved you back. Now, you are watching him leave your house and your life. Naturally, this will feel like the end to you. You are going to see it as the cut-off point for any future romantic relationship with the man. It doesn’t have to be that way at all. Just because your boyfriend has decided to uproot doesn’t spell impending disaster for your connection with him.

When your boyfriend says he’s leaving, your first reaction will be the strongest. If you’re like most of us, it’s a mix of pure terror and panic. It usually manifests itself through a lot of tears and a lot of inconsistent babbling. You try to explain why you don’t want him to move out, but it seems like emotional nonsense. In most cases, while this is happening, the man is standing there, stoic and emotionally sterile. That only makes us feel even worse. Being overexcited and seeing the man we love not react at all.

What you do next is really crucial to your future with him. As hard as it feels right now if your boyfriend is going to move out, you have to let him go. Trying to convince him to stay will create more conflict between the two of you and make him resent you. By refusing to let him leave you, you are essentially denying his needs. You are telling him, through your behavior, that what he needs and wants doesn’t matter to you.

It is very important to keep in touch after you move out of your home. However, you have to do this in a very specific way. Don’t call him every day or go see his new place. You don’t want to embed that mental image of your new home in your mind. It is better not to focus on it at all.

Instead, check in once a week and a phone call is best. Call him when you know he’s around and talk about very general things. You really need to go more of a friend tone now than a scorned girlfriend. If you try to get him to talk about the failed relationship, he’ll stop taking your calls altogether.

Your attitude during this time will make or break your chances of moving again. If you are constantly negative and depressed, he will feel good about his decision to leave you and there will be absolutely no reason for him to want to get back together.

On the other hand, if you are always positive when you talk and if you move on with your life having new experiences, he will be attracted to you again. If he feels that you can live without him and live well, his ego will take a hit. When a man feels that, he too experiences a renewed interest. After all, the moment you show him that you don’t want or need him as much as you used to, he’ll see that losing you is a very real possibility.