A complaint so common that it is the subject of jokes and sitcoms is the lost men’s unwillingness to ask for directions. Almost every woman has a story about a man who drove for hours looking for a place and refused her pleas to stop and ask someone how to get there. For women, this seems like the ultimate display of male arrogance and stubbornness. But what if it isn’t?
It is important to understand that men are NEVER “lost.” For him, that implies a helplessness that he will never voluntarily experience. You just haven’t gotten there yet and you have full faith in your ability to do so.
Also, a man’s unwillingness to stop and ask for directions is consistent with his survival instincts and he’s not actually stubborn at all. First, the act of stopping the car and rolling down the window makes him (and you) more vulnerable than he’s willing to be just to get somewhere faster.
Second, from a man’s point of view, the moment he asks a gas station clerk or someone on the street for directions, he has put his life and his life in the hands of a stranger! Men wisely only put their lives in the hands of people who have proven to be trustworthy. The way he sees it, it’s better for both of you to find your location yourself than to be at the mercy of the judgment of someone you don’t know and trust.
Why has he never told you this? According to our research, this is because, to him, it is obvious. Everyone already knows this and something that everyone already knows requires no explanation. It is a mystery to him why you seem to have forgotten this basic rule of survival.
On the other hand, maps are the beginning and the end of travel. With a map, a man can make a solid decision based on reliable information. And the systems available in many new car models, with built-in maps and global positioning satellites, are the ultimate tool for navigating a dangerous world.
If your car doesn’t have one of these fancy new gadgets, the best thing to do is stock up on maps at the Auto Club or buy a Thomas Guide. Keep your supply of maps in your car (or travel bag) and learn to read them. It is important to suggest a route from being a member of the travel team, rather than justly proving that you are incompetent.
A woman who understands, and even likes, reading maps becomes a much appreciated travel companion. To quote men, a woman who happily reads maps “becomes useful in hunting” and is “astonishing” and “almost perfect.” Instead of feeling frustrated and ignored while trying to find a place, if you are consulting a map, you will find a man more than willing to follow your instructions.
A side note: there is another unknown landscape in which a man will not ask for directions, but will surely appreciate them: his body. A panel of men on Celebrating Men & Sex were asked, “What do you think of a woman giving you instructions in bed?” One man made the case for everyone. He replied: “Directions, maps, diagrams – all helpful information appreciated!”
