I am not going to make a long introduction here because you need to see your situation from another point of view. We, as human beings, often mix our deep feelings and almost instantly generated emotions for some situations. Only the wise, or the parents who have read this article (!), have the ability to put aside their emotions and impulsive reactions and always express what they feel inside of them. I’m going to tell you what “I hate my son” really means. Children are good at pushing our buttons, they make us impulsive, do or say things we may regret.

Why do I feel this?

Let me be more direct here. Saying “I hate my son” is the logical consequence (yes, I’m serious) of the bad emotions that are accumulating. The emotions and circumstances I am talking about are probably our best enemies right now: frustration, anger, feeling overprotective, lack of time, irritability, challenging behavior in your child, not being listened to, lack of compassion from your child or spouse. , tiredness…

It’s a vicious cycle for an important reason, sometimes difficult to accept: you misunderstand your child’s behavior and think that you are a victim. I’m not being harsh here, it’s a reality you have to face. Only when you put things in perspective can you react differently and therefore take the time to reconsider your feelings.

3 questions you should ask yourself:

• Is it my anger (or any other bad emotion) that makes me think I hate my son?
• Do I hate him (his personality) or his actions?
• What if I am influencing their actions?

Bad behavior in a child is a way of expressing himself. You have to teach alternatives, understand what a tantrum hides. I’m not blaming you. I know and remember when she was so hurt and tired that she used to scream right away, she wanted to spank, just reacting impulsively to stop the tantrum. This is the worst thing to do.

Your role is, among other things, to teach your child things, to prepare him for the world of adults. What is wrong and what is right, how to express what he feels, help him have a good image of himself, etc. No one said being a parent was easy! There is a side of your child that you don’t see right now and there is a part of your personality that your child doesn’t see either. In fact, you see so little of your child’s personality when he misbehaves, how can you really say and mean “I hate my son”? Think about it.

How can I get rid of that feeling?

Nobody is a bad father. Communicating with children is something we have to learn because we are not born parents. You have to keep in mind that each reaction you have has a direct consequence on your child’s behavior. So now you think it’s part of his personality but it’s not. Children are not adults, they are not “complete”. Impulsivity does not give rise to true feelings.

Also, be aware of what hides your child’s words. If a child says “I hate you”, he doesn’t mean it, believe me, he doesn’t know what hate is. Always make a difference between your child and his actions, which you can change.

Saying “I hate my son” hides another feeling, a real one, which is: “I hate my son’s behavior.” It has nothing to do with your love for your son! Don’t feel guilty! If your child has intolerable behavior, it’s normal that you don’t like him. The truth is that you can’t ask and expect your child to change his behavior if you don’t change yours first. Have you ever tried to react differently? Keep calm and speak quietly? This is the key.

“I hate my son” will no longer be part of your vocabulary if you act quickly on the situation and focus on what you need to change about yourself first. You’ll never feel overwhelmed by your parenting “job” again. All parents can overcome this feeling and regain peace.